Most mom entrepreneurs start their businesses to have a career that's flexible for family life. We own our businesses so that we don’t have to work traditional hours and can create schedules that support motherhood. There's no perfect balance, however.

Most mom entrepreneurs I speak with are in a daily struggle. When they're working, they feel like they should be with their kids. When they're with their kids, they feel like they should be working. A friend of mine recently attended a business lecture where the speaker said that excellence comes from total attention. She said that you can’t make it to the top without total focus. That speaker was obviously not a mom. Mom entrepreneurs are split into so many directions. It’s hard to have focus. We are a mom, wife, daughter, friend, sister, cook, housekeeper and the list goes on.

We feel like we rush through just about everything and that the clock is ticking from the time the alarm goes off. We feel guilty that we're not giving anyone or anything the attention that we would if only there was more time in the day. I feel like not a day goes by that I don’t forget to bring Lisa a cold drink when I fetch her from school or a snack to gymnastics. I worry what the other moms must think. Here I am creating this business so I can be a mom first and foremost, and yet I’m still not the traditional stay-at-home mom. The guilt can consume you. So, what is a mom entrepreneur to do?

The authors of Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matters Most and Raise Happier Kids say that strategies for guilt-free mommy-living revolve around seven principles:
1. You must be willing to let some things go.
2. Parenting is not a competitive sport.
3. Look toward the future and at the big picture.
4. Learn when and how to live in the moment.
5. Get used to saying "yes" more often and being able to defend your "no."
6. Laugh a lot, especially with your children.
7. Set aside a specific time to have fun as a family.

Instead of thinking about all you didn’t accomplish in a day, recognize all that you did. So maybe you didn’t bake the cupcakes for your daughter’s bakers day or maybe you forgot to kiss your husband on the way out. It’s OK. You're contributing so much to your family. The reality is that most men (no offense guys) go to work, play with the kids when they get home and then they're done. We are now working full time, being full-time moms that still carry many traditional roles. Let it go.

Prioritize what’s really important. For me, it’s my family and my business. When you're working, do your best to give it your full attention. Don’t answer your home phone and stop doing laundry. And when you're with your kids, give them your full attention. Don’t check your Blackberry or take calls on your kids’ time.

What is guilt? It’s a feeling and an attitude. Turn that guilt into gratitude and be thankful for the opportunity to run a stimulating, challenging business and at raise a happy family. Remember that you're an amazing role model for your children. By showing them imperfection and challenge, they'll realize that life isn't perfect. It can be managed by taking care of themselves and their families. Congratulate yourself on being the ultimate juggler each day you manage to keep all the balls in the air.

I once heard a great quote: “Maternal guilt – it comes with the placenta” I love it because nothing could be closer to the truth. It begins the day you fall pregnant with guilt about eating Camembert or drinking that odd glass of wine, builds up as you contemplate Caesar vs. Natural and is at its peak when you decide to wean baby off the breast – be that at 2 weeks or ten months. I am told that it never leaves, as a mom of a teenager once told me – she had guilt over all the hours she worked when her son had rugby games. So really for as long as you are a mom - it never goes away.

What is behind this guilt? I believe it’s the high expectations we have of ourselves  - to mother our babies perfectly. Our benchmark is: ‘This one mom we know, who balances all the balls so well, breastfeeds her newborn as she reads to her toddler, never shouts or raises her voice or has to say “No”, makes homemade baby’s foods and has both kids neatly tucked in bed by 7pm and then gets a good nights sleep….’ Well news flash moms – she doesn’t exist and if she did her kids would be in therapy ten years down the line! Behavioural research has shown that kids actually do best when we are not perfect mothers.

According to paediatrician and psychoanalyst Dr Winnicott, we, in fact, are better as moms when don’t meet our baby’s every need instantly and when we show our kids that we can have a bad day, or make a mistake. By failing at times we give our children realistic expectations of the world and we teach them that their efforts in life are beautiful even when they are not perfect. When we do this we are called ‘Good Enough Mothers’. We are good enough to cope with the huge demands a new life makes on us and good enough to nurture this tiny human being into a caring happy toddler.

So the next time you take the proverbial whip to your back over using a dummy or not spending every last second with your baby, stop yourself. Maternal guilt is wasted energy and if you look at what you do do, you are probably better than a good enough mother and anyway you are the perfect mom for your tot just because you’re mom.