Have you noticed that since the birth of your baby, you have unwittingly entered a mothering contest? Little did you realize that your labour and the delivery of your baby placed you and your baby in the starting blocks of a race of comparisons.
It starts with whether you delivered naturally and how much pain you could bear – which sane woman seeks a medal for enduring excruciating pain for half a day? After calling for an epidural five minutes into labour, you feel like you’ve fallen one length behind. Nine weeks down the line you are sitting in the well baby clinic and the mom’s around you are comparing whose baby ‘sleeps through’. Yours still wakes twice for feeds – you fall another two lengths behind. Then there is the developmental milestone issue: “Johnny’s crawling!!” – he’s only six months old – is this possible? You fall another two lengths behind.
The bizarre thing is that in this race of comparisons, no one is the winner. Babies change so fast that the nine week old sleeping through is as likely to be the nine month old waking six times a night for a dummy as the little one who needs an extra feed at night. The little one who crawls at six months and walks at ten months has no major gross motor brilliance at four years old than the baby who only crawled at ten months and walked after a year.
So my message is avoid comparing your baby at all costs! The exercise is, at best, a waste of time. You are going to get stressed if your baby falls behind and will not win any friends for boasting your baby’s brilliance. Remember rather that your baby is so special in his or her own ways and will develop into a happy human being with love. And for the rest? … Well it’s just not worth the stress.
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